Many years ago the world was a different place. Young men and women lived with mom and dad and dated for a few months or years and then planned their wedding. It was then expected that they would receive lots of help in getting off to a good start in their new home or apartment with the gifts given at the bridal shower and at the wedding.
Even though this still happens, more often than not, the bride and groom to-be have been living together already, or one, or both, have been married previously and have collected plenty of household items that were once traditionally given for bridal and wedding showers. Throwing a shower to amass a bunch of unneeded “stuff” would seem like a waste of time and money for the couples who really could use the money instead.
The dilemma, for some, is how to invite guests to a bridal shower or wedding and let them know tactfully that the new Mr. and Mrs. would love monetary gifts in place of blenders and sheet sets.
Some invitees will be truly offended to be expected to give cash. Personally, I can’t understand why. If I am going to spend money on a gift I will just put that money to better use in giving them what they really want. Not everyone is as easy going as I am! so… If you believe that guests – some of them – will be offended, you can word the invitation (or in the case of a wedding invitation, add a little card request) in such a way that gifts are fine, but money for a special honeymoon or towards a new home would be appreciated.
Instead of saying “please bring money” the invitation would mention having a monetary wishing well at the shower or reception. The idea of a wishing well, is to have a place for the guests to drop their anonymous envelopes holding monetary donations. Sometimes a “wish” for the couple is included or written on a card and dropped in at the reception.
Leaving off a gift registry and mentioning a “wishing well” will probably prompt questions when guests R.S.V.P. and that will be your chance to explain more fully the wishes of the couple.
If you are looking for ideas in how to word the invitation or card, check out the examples at Wedding Wishing Wells of Australia which includes some cutesy poems, but simple stating what you want in a tactful manor might work best, as in my example below.
My example: “Anne and Tom love the thought of receiving special wedding gifts, and they will be using monetary “wishing well” gifts for much needed improvements on their newly purchased home. They invite you to give what your heart desires and are most appreciative of your love and support.”
By the way, a wishing well doesn’t have to look like a “well”. It can be a decorated box or some type of holder that goes along with the theme of the wedding.
Click here to view this card.