How to Marry Well, Part 1: Intelligence

ego, self love,
It’s all about me
This is my own personal advice on how to marry well, with a focus on intelligence. So much goes into finding the right mate for life, but be careful not to overlook a few basic qualities. Compatibility is incredibly important when lifelong decisions will be made with this man / woman.

For a start, just how intelligent is he? (I’m writing from the point of view a woman takes, so this post is mostly geared toward the bride-to-be, but of course the man could also gain insight.) A faker / phony can be difficult to spot. I’ve discovered that a man with a big ego can easily hide the fact that he is not too bright. He appears confident and even brave at times, but the real reason he appears this way may be that he is too stupid to know better! Think about that for a moment, because it absolutely makes sense.

I married young. I did not have the benefit of good information on which to form a lasting, successful relationship. And I paid dearly for it all of the years I was married. I write from experience here. It took me a long time to realize that my husband must have a low IQ. Things that made sense to me (and to most people) just didn’t to him. He did things his way, whether they were right or not. (That’s where the big ego comes in.)

Only his way of thinking was right. My input was not needed or requested. This led to a one-sided relationship. Eventually he did things behind my back because he saw no point in involving me with decisions. After all, I was the voice of reason, and he did NOT like that. He took chances, lost money, and never learned from his mistakes. His low IQ wouldn’t let him. His big ego told him it was the fault of others.

As I always tell my children, a marriage is a partnership, where each spouse has equal say in life. Of course you won’t always agree, but you must respect each other enough to talk with and listen to each other. If there are doubts in your head about the wisdom in his, pay close attention and don’t brush it off as something that will improve. Dummies are dummies, and don’t have the necessary brain power to change. Without a sensible, intelligent spouse, you may be in for a long, lonely, and possibly scary, ride through life.

Part 2: How to Marry Well, Too Young!

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